The New Relationship Paradigm

Relationship is a huge and important subject, and may very well be the most critical discussion as it relates to the awakening that humanity is going through right now [see my previous blog posts.]   When I work with clients, and talk about what they prefer to experience regarding relationships, most will think of their primary relationship with a spouse, friend, or family member.  The truth is that relationships in the broadest sense include within yourself, your own mind and body, with coworkers, with nature and the world at large.  We are essentially in relationship with everyone in and around us.  But, for the purpose of this discussion, we will focus on the relationship of the masculine and feminine – man and woman, woman and woman, man and man relationships, which all contain elements of the essential masculine and feminine relationship.

Some are familiar with the eastern analogy of yin and yang, and think that a perfect balance and equality between the two is the ideal.  But I believe nature is set up to function ideally with the feminine in charge and the masculine serving the feminine.  This is still a perfect balance, and the ability to experience the great pleasures and drama of life is still equal.

To keep the writing simple, when referring to relationships, I will use man and woman keeping in mind how it applies to all relationships, including the polyamorous.   In my shamanic practice, I find that while the complexity of interpersonal relationships is virtually limitless in it’s diversity, this fundamental interaction between the masculine and feminine is always at the core of the issue and the solution regardless of bodily form or sexual preference.  And, on a global scale, it has really come down to the suppression of women by men regardless of sexuality.

The dominant paradigm in humanity today is that the men are in charge and woman are subjugated.  [And it’s very difficult for me, as it is for you I am sure, to see this still going on. Unbelievable really, but we have a real solution now at last, and a tremendous amount has shifted already.]    I don’t think it is difficult to argue that this is the fundamental cause for all relationship issues, and I mean the full spectrum as mentioned in the first paragraph, from interpersonal to global – health, environment, poverty, war, abuses, etc.  And the reason is that in functional and sustainable Nature, the feminine is in charge, and the masculine serves the feminine.  And in the majority of human systems today, we have it backwards.  Needless to say, and now backed up by scientific blessings as well, this continues to be highly destructive on many levels.

Very simply put, here is how it will be in the new relationship paradigm: Women come together to support each other emotionally, physically, and creatively and remain in charge of society together. This coming together also requires no judgments or conditions. Then, men are chosen by the women to serve in the amazing ways that they are capable of serving.  The courageous man naturally enjoys serving women in all the ways that he is skillfully built to do so in both brains (left-lobe dominant) and brawn.  John Gray, the preeminent relationship guru used a great analogy to sum up the truly healthy and functional relationship between women and men.  He said that women just need to treat men like horses — tell them what to do, reward them if they do it, and punish them if they don’t.  The man is happy, and the woman is happy and gets what she needs and wants.

Nature seeks its proper balance and function, and when forced otherwise, often creates wild gyrations until the balance is recovered.  But naturally and consciously or not, women seek the depth of complex, intimate, and emotionally supportive relationships, and men seek to be of service. The real problem is that the current paradigm is upside down in the broadest sense.  Turn it back around, change the laws and institutions, heal and empower, and all of the other problems will go away.

I know it may seem like an oversimplification, and their is a full spectrum and choices happening right now, but the complex psychological pathologies and behaviors all result from these fundamental issues.  Solve these first, then work downstream to unwind the damage.  Instead, we have books and programs to try and make this fundamental unnatural paradigm work; like men learning to become more emotionally available, and women more ruthlessly successful in the masculine world of corporate competition at all costs. We look for seed and drug technologies to support our ever increasing economies and “wealth”, and the list goes on.  These are just not producing the real and lasting results that we’ve hoped for. The majority of women, the environment, health, education, the fundamental human needs are continuing to suffer in spite of the best efforts to stave off the inevitable and to stay in the dream that is all we know while we have been asleep.

So the awakening that is happening now, has everything to do with getting humanity back on the natural track of the proper and functional relationship of masculine serving feminine, man serving woman, and so on.  When women [women or men of the wild untamable natural feminine persuasion] are empowered and in charge, the decisions that get made around resource utilization, economies, politics, health, education, and all other human endeavors, would make much more sense, be healthier, more sustainable, and more functional. And men [women or men of the rational and courageous masculine persuasion] would still have plenty to do.  Women would not have to knock themselves and each other out competing to be chosen by a man or board of directors, etc., which alone would reduce stress and free women to be in charge of the world.  And let’s be clear that women would of course have to treat men well and much healing of both men and women is in order to allow for the new paradigm to fully manifest. This would allow the natural loving, compassionate, and serving tendencies of an awakened humanity to blossom and thrive.

When it comes to our internal relationship, this is what we refer to as following your heart, or putting your heart above your head.  Let the rational brain with its logic, strategies, and tactics, serve your heart’s desire and inner guidance or gut instinct/intuition.  Thus, the many spiritual traditions and psychological practices that support this internal shift, are indeed an important part of turning the relationship paradigm right side up again.  It starts with ourselves.  And it is a great gift to have the shamanic work that starts furthest upstream at the energetic multi-life and ancestral soul level and the deeply subconscious mythic beliefs to accelerate our efforts both personally and collectively.

With Great Respect and Love,

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