How to Be a Man in a Woman’s World
Re-Empowering the Feminine
My entire life and work has been dedicated to the re-empowerment of the Feminine – as my Q’ero teachers call it the Pachakuti, which translates to world turning right side up. Meaning that the Masculine has been the majority in charge of Government, Business, Education, Health, Resources, and all manner of policy decisions around the world for many centuries; and it is now time that the Feminine re-takes charge resulting in almost immediate and lasting solutions to most problems on the planet. I have written and spoken about this extensively in my book and blogs as it gets right to the core of what needs to happen, and is happening now.
The majority of people who’ve come to me for shaman sessions have been women and to some extent gay men – essentially those for whom the Feminine is the dominant expression. But, I’ve been told on a number of occasions to address and work more with my fellow straight men to help this process of the Return of the Feminine along. And while this talk focuses on straight men, it really is applicable to all people for whom the Masculine is the dominant expression including straight women, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender. So to keep the sentence structure as simple as possible, I will often just use the word men with full acknowledgment and respect for all expressions of the masculine.
Two Kinds of Men, and One is Ready to Step Up – The One with the Real Cojones
I have been fortunate to work with a number of willing men on and individual, and couple’s, and small group basis. But, there are basically two kinds of men: Fear-driven men, and courageous men. And, in my opinion the world needs more courageous men.
I confess I have very little patience for fear-driven men; they are the bullies, the greedy, the unkind, the transactional “friends”, and the ones who want power in order to manipulate and control others to fulfill their own ends by any means. They are the fanatics, fascists, and extremists who never change in spite of changing evidence, and would sooner blow the whole thing up than change or compromise. Some have come to me for healing, but it often turned out only to gain more of the kind of narcissistic power they would use to further their agenda of more control and personal “safety”, or to just feel better about the choices they make so they can continue the folly.
Basically, no amount of healing can make up for a person’s free choices; and by their nature, these types of men usually don’t want to change anyway as they get most of the spoils and attention already – except of course when they lose in a big way. It is always a choice to heal the easy way now, or heal after being crushed and, in the words of my teacher, “mulched.” I don’t judge those men, but I rather not hang out with them – discernment is a valuable practice. Someday they will figure out that they are really not getting to where they want to be; and when they are really ready to change, I’m ready to help them.
What a Courageous Man Does
But right now, I have a message for the courageous men who will hear it and act on it. It is time for you, my brothers to go forth even in fear, but with courage, and pledge your service to the Feminine – supporting and encouraging women and girls to dream big, follow their wild nature, take charge and feel safe. I want you to learn to discern the difference between the Masculine and Feminine in women and men and in yourself, so that you can encourage and cultivate the Feminine. Know the difference between the fear-driven warrior masculine and the courageous warrior masculine and cultivate the latter. Here are some helpful suggestions:
- In the face of uncertainty, do not cower in indecisiveness and paralysis.
- Move forward with courage and compassion with a broad vision for the benefit and betterment of the whole; particularly if you are a business leader or politician.
- In politics, do not support nor vote for those dominated by the fear-driven masculine.
- Make peace with the Feminine that is Nature. Recognize that you do not exist without her.
- Remember that a woman gave birth to you, just as the mother Earth gives birth to the land, oceans, plants, animals, and ever growing complexity that makes life worth living in the first place.
- Honor the feminine within yourself, by acknowledging and expressing your full emotion, and putting your heart above your head. Follow your heart, and let your head figure out how.
- Serve women the way the Sun serves the Earth – unconditionally, gently, warmly, consistently, reliably, and with enduring energy and light.
- Ask for nothing in return, and receive unconditionally all the beauty and nectar that she offers.
- Even when you are afraid of her and her wild unpredictable nature, and even when possibly facing certain death, never again suppress her, abuse her, or violate her.
- Never take from her more than she is willing to offer, never give to her more than she is asking to receive.
- Realize how true this is for women, and for the mother Earth and all of her children. This is a Feminine-based world – she is everywhere.
- Stop the fear-driven men from cutting down the jungles and overusing resources out of greed.
- Do not adhere to principle when it is unproductive; yielding is not weakness.
- Do not protect your ego or try to save face. Do not posture. Accept defeat or compromise gracefully.
- Stop the fear-driven men from cutting down girls and woman by refusing them their equal rights, education, pay, and opportunity.
- Remember this applies to Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual, and Transgender individuals as well. Don’t forget that, as the Feminine is suppressed in every possible way in the fear-driven warrior masculine controlled world.
- And you courageous man, don’t be fooled and brainwashed by the clever fear-driven man. Don’t let them use ignorance and lies to further their agenda. If they threaten with violence, respond with crushing force to stop them, then teach and heal them if they are asking.
“The Meek Shall Inherit”, but It’s Not About Being Weak or Defenseless
The Feminine is not weak, nor non-violent. But her violence does not come from fear, nor is it unwarranted, or based on an agenda of control and oppression. Her violence is natural instinct to protect and to create new experience, as a volcano creates new land, or a jaguar protects her young. Wear the sword on your lap, and choose not to use it unless your life is threatened by the fear-driven warrior masculine; then use it with gusto. Encourage women and girls to do the same. Next time you see a woman being threatened by a man, stop him in every way you can. Teach all of this to your boys and young men as well.
The Courageous Man Wins
Be grateful to be chosen and asked by a woman to help her and please her with all the gifts you have. And if you are not asked, then do not complain. Find other ways to be useful in the world. Follow your own heart and instinct, the feminine within you, from a place of compassion and connection to the whole. Your life will be better than you have ever known or can ever imagine if you follow this way of the Earth, humanity, and all of nature. For unlike the fear-driven warrior masculine, the Feminine has no malice, is non-hierarchical, is nurturing and compassionate the way the Earth takes your waste and gives you food in return, shelters and warms you, and allows you to choose freely how you want to live and die without judgment.
So don’t worry about a world run by the Feminine – you and she were fine in that relationship for millions of years. Our troubles only started when we taught to become antagonistic towards her based on a very funky mythology. She will take you back from this relatively short detour, but you must honor and respect her and be grateful to serve her; and when on occasion, the wild feminine nature causes you real fear – as it should – just be a courageous man and continue to move forward with unconditional love, gratitude, and kindness.